Poet and I didn’t… even.. know it?
In thinking about what I can start personally practicing as a hobby, I thought back to when I was young and what I naturally gravitated toward, and remembered that in elementary school I always loved creative writing time. AR Reading time and composition book writing time was my favorite hour of the day, and I haven’t even attempted to write something creative in ages. So, on my 15-minute morning break at work on Wednesday, I whipped this out like I didn’t even know what happened. No idea if it’s good, but I’ve also been inspired lately by listening to the Taylor Swift album and thinking about how she writes songs based on or taken directly from poems she writes in her journal so I figured I’d just go ahead and put it out there.
It’s pretty much me trying to capture the feeling of waking up each morning and living out your day not knowing if you are really doing what you’re truly meant to be doing, or if you have a higher purpose yet to be discovered, and wondering what you can do about it either way. Also it’s my interpretation of “adulting”, to be basic about it, so I hope you’ll let me know if I should actually spend my time cultivating this hobby or if I’d be better off not, if the kind thing to do is gently tell me this is not my talent haha xD
So it goes…
what the day can hold
Wake up in the morning
Wonder what the day can hold
Will today be the day I find my calling?
The day I take steps to fit my ideal mold?
Head off to work just fine
However then once I’m there
I’m not miserable or unhappy
But this isn’t my true purpose, so where?
I think about my interests
My hobbies or lack thereof
Is there something I could make a career from?
A way to make a living but also truly love?
I could do this, could do that
However one thought keeps spinning round|
Why bother doing anything at all
When everything is so tough to break ground?
Husband asks what we gonna do with our lives
I think my purpose may be to have kids
But I should do well to remember:
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live”
Maybe babies will be my future calling
But what can I do right now?
Plus once my children grow and leave me
I’ll need to have self-fulfillment, but how?
I know I want to help others
And feel most worth in having helped
But in what specific way can I contribute?
Leave a legacy of bettering how people felt?
“You’re so young,” people say
“You can do whatever you want”
But what if I wake up an old lady one day
And I’m still struggling with the feeling of daunt
Are we supposed to ever figure things out?
Most times it doesn’t feel like I can
But if I truly practice empathy for myself
I need to take control and make a stand